Get Your Honey Roasted… The Series

This series post we are writing together. Everyone knows that we  have a special bond. We are each other’s worst enemy and best friend all in one. We are very clicky in our home for this exact reason, sorry to everyone else (dad). We always have laughs and make jokes in my family. We are each others very own in home entertainment. Who needs cable anyways? Ever since I was little this has been our relationship with the jokes. It all started when my mom illegally dumps and it also all started when I started profusely cleaning the house. (what else am I supposed to do in my spare time anyways?) 

I love the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I really just vibe with her character and have mega New York energy. So for my last birthday my mom decided to make that the theme (you know for Covid birthdays). For my birthday I got the Marvelous Mrs Maisel game of Life, her famous black gloves and a surprise microphone. All a surprise! My mom said “we want you to do comedy for us with the microphone?” Everyone always asks me to make jokes, since I am told I am funny. I have never done actual comedy. I am very shy but I thought “ok I will give it a shot tonight.” That night as already planned I had a few friends come over for a socially distant cupcake celebration and… The Marvelous Ms.Bean opened her very own downtown Greenwich village gaslight club.

The only jokes I felt I could actually make at that time were about my mom. I mean she did ask me to do comedy? So she basically asked for this, I thought she would not mind being the center of my first actual joke. This could be easy because we make jokes about each other everyday. I did not want to be mean and so thus the idea of the honey roast came to be. My jokes are meant to be taken with sweet and best intentions. Although some may say they punch you in the core. Our relationship with joking is pure entertainment and love,I think what we both have in common is that roasting is one of our love languages. 

So at the Honey Roast birthday celebration I took out my phone. You see I have a running list of Stacey/mom traits. The little things that piss me off  and of course the things I want to remember her for. I hope you all know my mom and I have a very dark sense of humor and so in real life I call this my eulogy list. I began to go on with the real  illegal dumping. Ever since I can remember my mom has illegally dumped. She knows all her friends’ trash days and on Mondays and Tuesdays we cannot have any trash in the house. They say I am the one with the cleaning problem? My mom is huge on taste testing and making brand new concoctions. Mixing salad dressings. She for the last 10 years has been hung up on this one salad dressing from this restaurant called Marios and always tries to replicate it and just cannot. It is like plankton trying to get the krabby patty formula. (That is for you Ethan, spongebob reference.) 

The next item on my list is the angel mugs. My mom never uses a travel mug and in her car every morning carries 100 degree coffee in an open mug (well she used to anyways). They don’t even fit the cup holder and I have discovered they are not angels but they are baby gymnasts. One time I got in her car and there was all this brown stuff in the cup holder and I said “mom you spilt your coffee again?” “No that’s melted chocolate” and then I said “oh yeah that’s any better.”  Hence once again why I am a cleaning fanatic. Another antic of my mother is she is in three book clubs. She always says “I can’t talk right now, I have 400 pages left of my book and the meeting is tomorrow.” So overall the list goes on and on, not to mention she picked the worst family movies. We revoked her movie picking privileges after the Hatchi incident. So even though the first time we had an official honey roast in September as I am always the Marvelous Ms. Bean every day. In our house with each other everyday is a Honey Roast. This is who we are and this is why we love each other. Don’t worry I need to be honey roasted as well now stay tuned for Part 2 of the Honey Roast series.