Camp- Blair’s Perspective

In 2010 my family and I went out to dinner. It was one of my last nights before I left to go to sleep-away camp. I didn’t end up going to camp until I was 12. (I don’t know if you can tell but on this blog I am very attached to my mom and dad). After dinner we decided to walk around some stores, in this one store I absolutely fell in love with this stuffed animal. It was a soft monkey that was pink with different colored flowers. I begged my mom for the monkey, in basic mom fashion she said “no you already have too many stuffed animals.” A few days later I headed to camp on the bus!

I arrived at the “blow-dryer” camp as my mom likes to call it. I was in the cabin unpacking with my other bunkmates. I opened my first big black duffel bag, that had neon green printed writing BLAIR BEAN to a very sweet surprise. I got the monkey!!! The monkey I wanted that my mom said I couldn’t have was waiting there in my duffel with a tiny note. I took the note and hung it on my bed. I named the monkey Cam like camp but without the P. This is one of the nicest things I can remember my mom doing for me. Not to mention my amazing packages. I carried Cam around all Summer and I have taken her with me to every camp year since.

I look back on my camp journey and although I only attended camp for a couple years it has been a huge game changer in my life. Camp over the years has been amazing yet also very hard. The first camp I went to the “blow-dryer” camp wasn’t the camp for me. I didn’t feel like I fit in with the girls even though some I knew since kindergarten. My mom thought since I was on the more high maintenance side that going to a more “luxurious” camp would be better. The next year I decided to attend camp with some other girls from my school and this time there was no electricity, two back countries and, the camp was way bigger. I loved this hardcore life! I also loved getting packages, I loved seeing my brother at camp and I loved my counselors. My biggest regret is not attending camp earlier.

For me though camp has been a lot to process, surprisingly. Thinking about camp truly takes a huge toll on me. I think about a very special counselor who is no longer with us on this earth. I think about the time they asked us if my brother and I were twins. My brother loved them (and so did I). They gave my brother his camp nickname Cool Beans. As I got older I worked at a different Summer camp it was okay but not my home. Right before I left for that camp I met my old camp counselors sibling, the one that passed away. After that interaction I could not imagine what it would be like to lose a brother myself. I use to think I had an over active imagination, it wasn’t until the last Shabbat of camp in 2018 though that I could not stop crying. I was at Shabbat services and I stepped out of the room and called my mom who was on a trip with my brother at the time. I couldn’t make clear sentences and I kept saying “Mom, Ethan!’’ She said everything was fine and about forty five minutes later I kept crying. In my head I was picturing a txt message from my dad about my brother passing away. The night went on, camp had ended and then about 2 weeks later my brother passed on. That is exactly how I found out he passed away, with a txt from my dad. A few years later I learned there is a difference between a Divine thought and a thought. There’s been a lot to process the last few years about camp and a lot of intertwining I did with my camp counselors passing and with my brothers passing.

I have felt a lot of feelings about this but my camp friends who I confided in assured me that I was not crazy and anyone who was in my situation would have a lot to process about camp too. Today, I realize how interesting it is that my mom and I both experienced loss after Summer camp. Today I look back on my relationships and know that my three closest friends that I’ve made are from camp. Today I have such a huge passion for camp that I have done independent research on Summer camp in college. Today, I am thinking about the endless memories of camp, the family fun days, the frozen lemonade by the lake, my monkey Cam and of course Legally Blair.