Beautiful

I got to New York with Passion, Blood, Sweat and Tears. Okay maybe not blood but lots of tears. It was a big inner fight of figuring out what I really wanted but I always went back to my passion which is my love for theatre. Theatre has been my lifeline since I was little. I was always amazed at the lights, the costumes, the voices, the sound, puppetry and the meaning of the shows. I would perform my own shows and as soon as I saw a show I knew all the blocking. I could even predict the blocking (blocking is how a scene is positioned) for a show I had never seen. When I was 16 my mom took me to see my favorite show, which is Beautiful the Carole King Musical. It was an amazing experience. I met tony award winner Jessie Mueller after the show and this story inspired me. (Remember this it will come in handy later.)  

HARD work and self appreciation and acceptance paid off because I am currently in the Theatre Education program at New York University. If you told younger Blair that she is studying theatre in NYC she wouldn’t believe it. So when someone asks me what my next move is, I say I am studying to be an Applied Theatre Practitioner or an Artist. I’m in a two year masters program about the effects that art and theatre have on our culture and the world. 

My favorite class right now is Theatre for Young Audiences. Each week we have intense discussions about entertainment for youth. We talk about our experience with theatre.  Our discussion last week brought up all my trauma. We were discussing what is appropriate for young audiences and what we should expose young audiences to. I finally felt comfortable enough to share my story. This story intensified my passion for this field of study and helped me understand why I am here! I hope my experiences help others when they read my blog. 

When I was a sophomore I auditioned for my high school’s Spring musical. Which was Carrie…Carrie the Musical based on the book by Stephen King. Carrie was an off/on broadway show and at the time a local college performed it. This caused an uproar with the school board, PTA parents, staff and students. They felt that Carrie was inappropriate for a High School Theatre to perform. The arts directors and administrators argued it would be an anti-bullying show, since in the show Carrie was bullied by the students who pulled pranks, excluded, and made fun of her. They ended up having a small show to give our theatre department a unique look, since only colleges were performing it. The directors casted about 30 and had more than double audition. I was one of the cut kids. 

I explained in class that I wasn’t upset because I was cut, although that did upset me at the time. I was upset that no one saw my passion. I was even more upset that the school created an unhealthy competition by not including most of the kids in the musical and therefore created the same environment of exclusion the play identified as harmful. High school theatre should not be about competition, it should be about giving everyone the opportunity to express themselves artistically. It should be inclusive! 

Theatre teaches so much and I felt that the opportunity to learn and grow artistically was lost for those cut from the play. In high school I experienced a lot of exclusion. I was afraid to be myself and last week when I was sharing this with my class I said “I know High School isn’t a representation for the rest of your life” My professor said “it isn’t” and that my experience was “totally valid.” He could tell that it wasn’t just about being cut but about the whole idea and message of the show being ignored. He said “If you’re going to put on a show with an anti-bullying message then do it right.”  He and I both said we wish that we could tell so many students the same thing. It does not matter! 

I wish I could tell younger Blair not to stress as much, that those same feelings would motivate her to persevere and follow her dreams! It ultimately would earn her a spot at NYU. Never let someone else define you! I want to make it my mission not to let this happen at another high school. Remember when I said Beautiful the Carole King Musical is my favorite show earlier? That’s because almost everyday since I was 16 I would recite a few words from the musical to myself. “Sometimes life goes the way you want, sometimes it doesn’t and sometimes when it doesn’t you find something beautiful.” 

So again, to my young readers, go find your beautiful! Do not let anything get in the way of your passions. Let karma and nature take its course, be a good student, be true to yourself and most importantly become who you believe you are meant to be. Don’t listen to others who want to tear you down. You will find your people, you will find appreciation, it will all work out and most importantly what happens in high school doesn’t define you! Now go be beautiful and show the world all the love in your heart!